Thursday, June 29, 2006

Parking Tickets = Broke!

OH...MY...GOD! I have just gotten another parking ticket. That will make a grand total of approximately 200 tickets since moving to Los Angeles 7 years ago ranging from $35-$65 a ticket. The "Parking Meter Checkers" are complete and total Nazis when it comes to writing tickets. What ppl outside of L.A. don't realize is that there aren't any options in this town. You can park at a meter or valet (see previous blog on valets and their cologne). So, when I have to be somewhere I prefer a meter, but holy crap I am going to be broke from how much I spend in paying off the tickets.

Trying to decipher what the rules are on the signs posted is like translating Japanese. I am convinced that once you have parked and skipped along to your destination, someone, somehow, somewhere comes out behind the bushes and swaps out the signs!

So, sorry future won't be going to college because Mom racked up parking tickets before you were born. Education is overrated anyway.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Bring an end to public pooping!

Are Picky-Chicks the only ones who feels so utterly horrible for dogs and their public defecation? It is completely embarrassing. While some ppl would say dogs don't think twice about it, I beg to differ. There is a reason they stare straight ahead and don't look around barking, "Hey guys, come hang out while I take a crap!" or "Look at me! Look at me!" No, they find a spot, hunch over with their asses facing their owners and drop it off. They are totally humiliated and are really thinking, "I cannot believe cats get everything! They get to sleep on the bed and all over the clothes in the closet and get a private little corner...some even have roofs...where they get to pee and poop with no one watching."

Here is the best news ever for those of you who hate watching dogs poop! The Puppy Pawtie...ahh, cute play on words there. Now, don't get me wrong...this is one of MANY options for an indoor litter box experience for your pooch. It's gotta work, I mean look how happy the dogs are in the pics! Their faces looking toward the owner...not their butts.

Something to consider for both your dog and the people who feel bad for them.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Nit-Pick of the Week

Nothing beats picking up your beautifully pressed and clean clothes from the dry cleaner. The true relief comes when you realize they were in fact able to get the pasta sauce stain out of your favorite Anne Fontaine blouse (a result of you feeling the need to impersonate a drunk Tara Reid with Penne Arrabiata in your mouth). With one swift move, the blouse is hung in the closet and put back into your wardrobe rotation. Fab!

A few days go by when you decide to bring her out. You tear away the plastic, the hanger paper cover, safety pins and whatever other contraptions they use and place the crisp, white shirt over your "ready to rule the world" body. A quick glance in the mirror and you are off to what will surely be the day you get a raise or win the lottery when you notice the most horrific site. No, I am not talking about the stain...I am talking about "Hanger Arms!"

Why do dry cleaners use hangers that are meant for a person the width of an Escalade? The result are these HORRIBLE "dents" on the arm of your clothes...halfway between the shoulder and the elbow! Nothing...not even an iron can get these things out.

Please, dry cleaners of sensitive to us normal size ppl (and usually Picky-Chicks) and use hangers that fit human beings...not creatures of planet Giganticon!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Gift Scam of the Century

Ok, so I am from the South. What that means for weddings is lots and lots of showers. There's the "Room to Room" shower, the "Stock the Bar" shower, the "Honey Do This" shower, the "oh my god he'll see me naked, what do I wear?" shower. The amount of themes for a simple excuse to ask people for presents is truly mind boggling and boy does it get expensive to be invited! If my calculations are correct, I have spent over $10,000 in my "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" shower gift giving history. Look, I get it...especially in the South when you usually get engaged seconds after receiving your college diploma. Chances are you really need some "tools and teddies," but is it necessary to make your friends, family and the little old lady who pours tea at church spend money in hopes that your marriage is a blissful one with lots of "stuff?" When I decide to take the plunge, I am going to have one's gonna be called the, "Wire money to this account, so I can feed you all at my wedding" shower.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Hold in The Cheese

Why, oh why, is it so impossible to find clothes that fit? More often than not, shopping for us Picky-Chicks is like the Goldilocks fairy tale-- It's either too big, or too small, and almost never just right.
What we discovered is a fabulous and inexpensive pair of jeans called City of Angels that actually fit your legs, butt and hips (with the perfect amount of stretch) without causing the overflow of "whatcha mamma gave ya." (see: Muffin Top). They can be hard to find, so search your local boutiques. I found mine in Loz Feliz at the eccentric White Trash Charms boutique (they will ship!).

Friday, June 09, 2006

Quiet night out

Los Angeles is filled with restaurants and clubs that come and go as quickly as the wannabe actors. After years of scoping out the newest and hippest spots, I found myself right back at the bar of one of the first places I visited when moving to L.A. 7 years ago. The Little Door Restaurant is the ideal spot for after work drinks with the girls or a first date. I took my aunt and my cousin there and they just loved it. The best part is the bartenders allow you to taste and taste and taste off their incredible wine list...without an attitude! So, if you don't care about being seen and just want a nice ambiance and a good glass of vino...The Little Door is the perfect spot.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Nit-Pick of the Week

L.A. is nothing if not a driving town. Our obsession with being in our cars means one unavoidable evil in a city with virtually no parking lots: Valet Parking. You must valet at the mall, the bank and at absolutely every restaurant. What should be a service that pampers quickly turns into a nightmare when you realize how much cologne these parking guys are wearing. It's fine to splash yourself with a little musk, but to douse yourself in cheap...and I mean the, "It's so cheap I can taste it in my mouth," cheap cologne is really starting to become a problem. As a "Picky-Chick," I don't want to cap a lovely evening off with a late night shower in hopes of getting Chaps out of my hair, clothes and mouth...blech. I vote that restaurants implement a "no cologne" policy for their valet and wait staff, which is sure to please even the ficklest of noses. All in favor, say "aye."

Dressing on the side

Remember Meg Ryan's character in "When Harry Met Sally?" She was so adorable, but gosh darn was she picky. You know what? There is just nothing wrong with that. My motto is simple...if I am paying for it, I better like it. One of my favorite "picky-chick" friendly spots in LA is Real Food Daily. So if it's not hot enough or just not quite how you imagined it...send it back or ask for a tweak.